We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
