i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
