I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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