Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
