i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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