She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
