playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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