operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
