I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
