you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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