we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
