Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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