i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
