Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
