i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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