i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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