therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
