I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
