Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
