If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
