Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
