You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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