there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
