She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
