You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
