cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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