i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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