it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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