What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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