You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
