Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
