Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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