thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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