do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
