I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
