Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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