I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
