I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
