If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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