addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
