Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
