i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
