so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
