Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
