I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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