"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
