Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
