I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
