i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
