I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
