There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
