How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
