ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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