bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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