I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
