I want to stick my p in your. b.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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