I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
