Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
