She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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