Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
