is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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