A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
