I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it was like eating out sand paper
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
