i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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